Of being lied to. If you would just be honest than we could both figure this mess out and move forward. Suck it up and tell the truth!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Sure......Why Not
Last week~
Papa left for Hungary. We think he may be moving there.
I started painting some mural type stuff for a local church's harvest party.
Started an elimination diet. So far so good despite one little accident.
This week~
Had parent teacher conferences with Gabe's teacher, it went well.
Started painting at another church for their "Light in the Night" party.
Hoping to finish up at the first church.
Sending out invites for a Scentsy party.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Is Perfection Really Perfect?
Lately I have ran into,read about and heard from mothers that only strive for perfection at the expense of everyone around them. There seems to be this trend as of late, well rather a "re-birth" of the idea that mothers are superhero's and should perform as such all the while putting down in any shape or form mothers around them that seem to fall short of their ideals. Now I haven't been at the wrong end of the stick yet in this scenario ..yet. I by no means try to build myself up in front of people or put others down for their parenting skills. Although I am in a very humbling situation with my kids so I am not sure where I would be if things where different. I guess in a way I am very thankful for the situation God has put me in, it's a great mind opener. Anyways, I generally try to avoid the subject as much as possible for the mere fact that I have ran into several women who either have a fascination with "one-upping" or who think they need to explain everything they do to me as if I'm going to severely punish them if they aren't clear on their motives. I'm not God I don't need to know why you do what you do. I don't care how you parent your kids unless you're abusive then I care,I very much care.
I have heard time and time again women saying that it is so hard to make new friends once you are a mother. I really think that is due to two different things. I think one, women who are perfectionist mothers and expect the same from others no matter. Then two, their are the mothers that have been so crushed by the feeling of falling short they begin to avoid human contact all together.
I believe it is time that we quit imposing our own ideals on those around us (specifically mothers to mothers). Try to come to your friendships as just a woman first. It's true that being a mother is a defining mark on a woman but it doesn't have to be your whole identity. I am not saying to not talk about your children or to avoid the subject all together but what I am saying is that obviously some women need to connect on different levels first before they can include the ever loved "I have kids" conversation.
All in all: Remember,no one is perfect...no one. Also.......We are simply called to love one another. What we are not called to do is "Love one another under our own stipulations." We are simply called to love one another. Try it sometime,make a friend and make it your mission first and foremost to love that person. Tell yourself God loves them,I love them. It brings a whole new perspective to things,though perhaps simple sounding,it will have a huge impact in your life and lives of those around you.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The Truth about Grace
Grace IS NOT here for us to sin.It is here for us when we fall. With that being said, do not live under the impression that you can seek out sin because in the end Grace will cover you that IS NOT how it works.
....meh'...........Just a little food for thought....
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Todays Pics
ANN DEMEULEMEESTER 1012-18 BLACK VIRGIN WOOL/SPANDEX/POLYESTER -
579 GBP - farfetch.com
Long sleeve coat »
579 GBP - farfetch.com
Long sleeve coat »
Thursday, October 14, 2010
So I made B n'E this morning (Bacon and eggs..not breaking and entering...come on people'!) and in the middle of breakfast I realize Gabe (who already ate) is still waiting for his bus. I call transportation and am told the weirdest shenanigans. They said that it was a sub bus driver and that she was trying not to be there early and that I should have had him out by 8:19 to which I replied."I had him out exactly by 8:19." There answer was slightly defensive...."Well do you want me to check the bus's gps?" I should have said yes. But I guess what I find the weirdest is that his bus is suppose to be here at 8:30 so we were originally told to have him out 5 minutes early...so 8:25. I had him out at 8:19 exactly so extra early by their standards yet I was told "the sub bus driver "was not" trying to be here early. So I guess my question is this "If she wasn't on time nor was she late then she had to be early,am I right?" Transportation can be so weird sometimes.
Anyways,I had to wake M up,got her and Troy ready in under 5,new record I think! Slapped a frosted cookie in each kid's hand and we all got in the van and drove Gabby to school. When we got there all the bus's were lined up out front. Come to find out all the kids were practicing bus safety that day. Well visitor parking is right next to these bus's. I found a place to park were I would be able to get out quick if I needed. Well wouldn't you know it another bus pulled in behind me. Well Gabe went and got on one of the bus's as instructed by his teacher who was out front...she is a real sweetheart by the way.
So back to the parking situation, with mission impossible like skill I maneuvered myself out of the spot and because I live dangerously I exited out of an enter only area........I like to live on the edge sometimes.
When I got home I ate a couple Halloween themed frosted cookies and that's when I realized I just ate the oddest breakfast ever. Bacon and cookies, I didn't even get to my eggs and I'm not into cold scrambled eggs. Oh, and a cup of peppermint mocha flavored Joe.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tug O' War
Not much to report...
I am feeling a little more pressured lately by my kids schools. They have all these fundraisers going on,book orders and fairs,pictures,homework and field trips. Not to mention all three boys go to different schools and they each have their own things going on...it's just been a little nuts lately. We haven't really participated in much but the pressure is still there. I mean even the fact that Gabe has pictures tomorrow and I am not sure if I have the funds for it, is just driving me batty...ugghhhh.................
I think I am just still recovering over all that's happened in the last couple of weeks. I'm still struggling with fatigue but it's slowly getting better.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Little Monsters and Cleaning Fairies
I have 4 little monsters that live in my house. They are not your typical monsters. They are in fact rather lovable,snuggly and giggly. However if one thing is misplaced or one thing forgotten,unsaid,not finished etc. they turn green and play dirty...boy I hate grass stains(after thought.). For example.. The last three days I have managed to keep our home sparkling clean,in fact I probably could have eaten off the floors but I think that's the last bad habit I want my little monsters to pick up on. Well today I took a break to play on the net...for about 1.5 hours. I was happily checking my Facebook,email,news,blog and Polyvore when I realized I hadn't even bothered to look away from the monitor for about 30 minutes. Now the little monsters had been watching the discovery channel and playing during this time so I assumed all was well but I was dead wrong. I forgot the crucial process of checking on them every 5 seconds. I boldly and bravely steered my gaze towards my living room. OH THE HORROR!!!!!! The little monsters had turned green and got into the pantry. There was mini marshmallows everywhere and a package of Peach flavored Jello with a corner ripped out with a light dusting on the floor and counter top. The little monsters also pulled out all the pillows from their bedroom and several toys( which are meant to stay in the game room). The pile of laundry from last night is strewn about and I am for sure and certain that at least a few pairs of underwear are encrusted with peach Jello and sticky marshmallows. DO I DARE GO INTO THE BATHROOM!? AHHHHHHH! There is quite possibly a whole roll of toilet paper shredded and tossed about the bathroom floor.....ON TO THE BEDROOMS. PHEWWW*sigh of relief*.....My bedroom is untouched.......EEEEKKKK But the boy's bedroom is trashed. Troy monster took an old math homeschooling book and pulled out every single page and crumpled them and threw them about. Then,if I am not mistaken, I smelled the distinct ewwww deux toilet of urine. So much for the clean pile of clothes from yesterday...yep...he done peed on em'. Why,you ask? I have no clue.....
Now I am not kidding when I say this happened in approx.30-40 minutes. So I've been trying to phone those bloody cleaning fairies and I kept getting an answering service...I think..I don't know,I don't speak fairy. :(
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Todays Pics
Alexander McQueen Stingray box clutch with knuckleduster
1,225 GBP - brownsfashion.com
Brown handbag »
1,225 GBP - brownsfashion.com
Brown handbag »
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Thinking of the Future
When you are told that your child has a disability,when you are told they have autism it feel's as though someone has died.Like the death of a loved one has occurred.
I often wonder what the future holds for my children. They are beautiful in so many ways. I realize I am their mother so I may be a bit biased but in all reality they really are a light in my life and just genuinely beautiful kids. That's the thing about autism though.....kids that struggle with it appear normal physically.They do not have obvious physical anomalies like a child with down's. This is also why many mistake them for "brats" and such. Anyways...I digress...
What I was getting at is that when I think about their futures I often wonder what their lives will be like. I get the sneaky suspicion that Paul and Gabriel may lead fairly normal lives. I think I worry about Troy's future the most. I wonder if he will ever obtain a drivers license, if he'll ever be able to live on his own,make friends, keep a job,have a girlfriend,get married or feel the warmth of a wife? And many other things. I worry that if he is not healed that the idea of institutionalizing him may become a reality as he becomes an adult. I don't know that I could do that to him or me. The thought of it even makes me feel ill.
Sometimes I wish I could just stuff even the thought of the future away but I know it's something I have to prepare for now. I know there are people,friends and family out there that care but at this point I feel very alone. I get many offers of help but rarely...RARELY does anyone follow through. Not many can handle my kids or they think they know better than I do. I have a husband that works two jobs and when he does actually see the kids he can't handle them either. my parents and my in-laws are absolutely worn out because there the only ones willing to help but the kids are even hard for them to handle. I don't want my kids and I to be a burden but that's exactly what it feels like. I am not a quitter by any means,not at all but sometimes the weight of it all is so heavy.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
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