Should I Stay or Should I go Now

My son Troy came home from school yesterday in what seemed to be a fog. He had a fever and the bus driver said he actually fell asleep at school and slept all the way home (13 miles). When I got him inside he fell back asleep on the couch and didn't move until about 7 in the evening when he got up to run to the bathroom. He almost made it :( He threw up right in front of the toilet,poor kid. He threw up one more time last night and then he was able to keep some children's Advil down. After he took the medicine he seemed to perk up a bit. Even this morning he was back to his normal bubbly self. However at around 12 he used the bathroom and then said "bath please." That's code for "I made a present in the toilet please flush it and give me a bath." He played for a bit and then got out by himself and sat by his brothers while they watched "River Monsters" on TV.  This was while I was making lunch (taco salad). Towards the end of cooking I noticed the house was really quiet. I thought Troy must have fallen asleep on my bed.When I checked he wasn't there so I looked in his room and sure enough he was asleep on his bed or so I thought. I reached over to feel his head (which was fairly warm). Apparently just that gentle touch was enough to wake him or he wasn't totally asleep yet. Anyways he came out from his room and laid on the couch and has been asleep there ever since. This is not like him at all. The last time he had the flu he would throw up and then run around and yell  and bounce on his bed etc. Whatever this is has him knocked down for the count. If it doesn't let up by the evening I'll be taking him to see a doctor or emergency room if it get's any worse. I know it sounds funny but something just doesn't feel right about this. My mommy intuition is tingling so to speak.

Aches and Pains and Exhaustion....OH MY!

  I'm going on a week now of almost no sleep. Every night I've been kept up by this post nasal drip garbage. This morning I was awoken by 4 little monsters...Ok I was tired and my vision was a bit blurry. Turns out it was my kids. Anyhow, my little monsters.....I mean kids woke me at about 6:30.All four of them sounded congested and number's one and two have a fairly bad headache. The decision to keep them home was finalized through a committee meeting between Laz and I all in about 5 seconds. So we are all home today,chillin',watchin' some movies,well atleast the kids are. I on the other hand am going to work out and then take a nap :)

Eyeballing my Food

  Well I fell off the diet roller coaster today but oddly enough I don't feel to bad about it. I fell off yesterday too but not in a big way,I ate a handful of cereal. Today,however, I had a doughnut (CARB CRAVING!). Really, I don't feel to bad about it. Not that I want to repeat it but I know that I can continue on the diet because I don't feel like a complete failure for slipping up once or twice. To tell the truth I started exercising and cut out a lot of carbs long before I started this diet and I keep forgetting to factor that in. Just cutting carbs and quitting soda has got me down two dress sizes alone. So hopefully I won't slip up too much more but overall I feel very confident about this process. I know that it'll be a two steps forward one step back kind of deal so back to moving forward now.

  Random Thought: I read an article yesterday that stated drastic dieting can lead to feelings of anger and even rage. "LIGHT BULB".....Now I get it! I've been a tad snappy lately! :)

How to Kill a Diet

I must admit that I am indeed a fan of criticism IF done in a constructive and graceful manner. HOWEVER.....I am not a fan of constant negative criticism,it get's old real fast. I am also not a fan of being compared to other women,particularly other mothers. The worst of the worst is when these two negatives are combined it makes me want to go a few rounds in the octagon.

 There is a certain someone in my life right now that seems to have a penchant for wanting to hit the mat with an angry mother. They consistently practice negative criticism towards me and most of the time couple that with comparing me to other mothers in our group of friends. Maybe it's hormones or maybe I'm finally coming out of my fog long enough to think straight but whatever it is I am getting beyond annoyed with this individual. In the last couple of days I have been so stressed that I actually spoke.....spoke up that is. A little background: I am the type of person who always keeps my cool,finds it very easy to forgive.Just all around passive I would say. As wonderful as that all sounds I also have a bad habit of just taking whatever comes to me. I am a firm believer that when you have kids you should have your tiffs behind closed doors. But the closed doors thing doesn't happen around here a lot so I get treated like junk( from not just one person in particular but from a couple) then I am left with no way to resolve the issue. Anyways..I digress. I guess that I am finally over the "bottling it up" shenanigans and I am about to blow. I am seriously feeling angry,very angry these last couple of days. I have said things that I wouldn't have normally said.

  I try not to use our children as an excuse but the fact is that three of our kids are disabled,two mildly. That in and of itself makes life quite different than the average family situation. I guess you could say an "interesting family dynamic." I accepted my children's situation in order to move forward and get them help and most of all because I love them. Having multiple kids with autism makes it very hard to parent in what most would call a "normal way." I guess what I am getting at is that my life and the way I work and raise my children is very different because they,my kiddo's, require more work and patience than the average child. Therefore I don't have the time needed to make the everyday things that people take for granted "perfect."

   In the end I feel that certain people forget what my life is or may be like and assume that I am doing everything all wrong because I don't do what every other mother or wife does so they are very critical of me. Frankly I am tired of explaining to these certain few.I am done. I am doing the best I can with what I have and with the blessings I've received. Frankly....my children are not a problem.The problem lies with those that can't seem to wrap their mind around our situation.

I should really take up kick boxing or something..I need to get this out of my system. I am really hoping this feeling blows over,I don't like feeling angry.

AHHHHHHHHHH! Real Housewives!

  I want to rip my hair out,scream,punch an unlucky person in the face and then maybe follow all that up with a cold shower. I have been prepping and painting for about 1.5-2 weeks now. I am finally making some progress today and am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am down to the little details now like molding. The kids have done really well despite the chaos, that is until .....today.

  We moved our big screen into our bedroom and put it up on the wall so that I didn't have to "paint around" it. So our bedroom has been the designated hangout spot for the kids and their games and movies. For those of you that are cringing when you read that last part it's okay I packed all the breakables away. What I was not expecting was half eaten strawberries all over our nice new clean laundry and sheets. Apparently  while I was painting M was stealing "strawbee's" as she call's them, out of the fridge. To top it off I had just gotten Troy ready for school when he decided he wanted to go outside and jump on the trampoline...which is wet. Oh,and the yard is muddy. Needless to say I had to change him really quick then pick up all the strawberries with M's help of course. Then pull out all the clothes that got murdered and wash them right away. To top of this wonderful morning I was able to start putting the furniture back in place in the living room. While I was pulling the cover off the couch I gazed upon some of Troy's artwork in pen and ink nonetheless. It appears to be impressionistic in style.I see some stairs and a pair of large eyeballs. So,we are waiting for Troy's bus now.When he goes to school I have to pull off the couch cushion covers and wash those then I have to shower and get M and I ready to go pick up Grammy and go to the grocery store,home depot and maybe the mall too. Then back home just in time for the boys to get back from school and to make dinner and then paint again until the wee hours of the morning.

  I am so ready for my little project to be done,I am going nuts.

 

RUCHE into Spring

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Belated Updates

 

  It's true I have been somewhat negligent when it has come to updating my blog.Truth be told I have indeed had some extra time to myself lately though I've just wanted to spend it reading. There's not a lot of new things to report. I have been trying to get things together for Troy's SS appointment but have had to reschedule twice now and I am going to have to reschedule again this Monday, I am just not ready.:( I also joined a new Bible Study,we met for the first time last night and I cried in front of everyone while I talked about my children. It was very surreal as I never cry. It's not that I am embarrassed of it, it's just not something I do. I just don't get emotional. So I was a little freaked that I started crying,again very surreal. All in all an awesome group of ladies and looking like a great Bible study. I think we will see a lot of good things come from it!

   The only other thing I can think of is that Gabriel started track this last week. So far he is ok with it but he is having a hard time with separation anxiety. He wants me to follow him around the field while he goes from event to event. Other than that he's making friends and enjoying it all with the exception of the high jump which also happens to be what he's best at,LOL! Silly kid! So other than those things,nothing much new has happened. Just the same ol' routine.