I'm a Lady

  I live in a house run by testosterone. The common language being grunting with intermittent squealing and screaming. Then we had a daughter and I had to relearn what it was to be a "lady." I myself had only brothers,4 to be exact. Then I had three sons of my own. When I had my daughter I thought "What do I do with her,I don't know anything about girls." That's when I realized I didn't even know what it meant to be a woman or a "lady."

  It's been a slow process but luckily my daughter is naturally girly. I automatically new everything would be ok when one of her first words was "shoes." More recently she has taken to non-stop talking about anything.She just babbles on,after awhile I sort of tune her out. I guess it's a built in sanity mechanism,LOL! She insist on wearing tutu's EVERYWHERE as well as jewelry....go figure. Her newest phrase is "No, I'm a Lady!"



 

Life isn't always like a Box of Chocolates

   Sometimes it's more like a puzzle. A highly complex puzzle only a master could figure out....*sigh*....
Sometimes there's pieces missing and it drives you nuts.Other times you unwittingly give away pieces and don't realize it until you feel the sting of reality and you are left with an unfinished puzzle. I am thankful for a forgiving and gracious God that is willing to forget the unfinished puzzle and give me a whole new puzzle free of charge.

Warning for Unsuspecting Visitors

To all my friends and family who may want to drop in and say hi consider this a warning. I have a four year old who is extremely prejudice against clothing of any kind..including underwear. His favorite daily activities is stripping down and jumping up and down in front of the open windows of our home.....*sigh*......Thank God for  neighbors that put up with us.

 This warning was put up due to a family member stopping by (which I love by the way) and being confronted with Troy running around in the nude. It can be a shock to those not use to it. Luckily it was a family member who was very understanding.

So.....with that being said I love having visitors,the more the merrier. At least now you all know what you're getting yourselves into,LOL!

Hitting a Rough Patch and Trying to Keep my Chin Up

  The Holidays are upon us and all through Albany every creature was stirring even the scrooges.....

   My Christmas Jeer ran away and took all my energy with it. This is the first Christmas that I can remember where I felt totally overwhelmed and completely zapped of energy. Our family has hit a rough patch especially my parents. Sometimes I wonder when they will ever receive a break. I am trying to keep my chin up through all this mess and for the first time in a long time I am really struggling with it. I think in reality I let it drop a few weeks ago. Every time I feel down about life's little situations I immediately feel guilty because I know somewhere out there somebody has it way worse then I. In fact I've had it harder than this. I need to kick this feeling but it's really hard this year. I think the worst part is that I want to help everybody in the worse way but I am not in a position to help everybody. It is driving me nuts. Though no one has asked me for much I still feel responsible.

  My parents have been hit really hard this Christmas. I can't really say what is going on because I don't know if they want the whole world to know. I can say that they deserve so much better,so much more. They don't deserve what is happening to them right now.  I met with mom yesterday and took her out for coffee. While there I asked her what the inside of the whale feels like,LOL. She laughed and agreed it was indeed a trying time,LOL. She always ends the conversation with "I am just going to wait and see what God's going to do now because it's going to be GOOD." :)

 Things have been rotten,just down right rotten and I am trying my hardest not to wallow in self pitty. However it is admittedly hard right now. I cannot say everything that is going on but know that it's ridiculously rotten,lol! Not only for my parents but there are some things going on with my little family right now that ...well...are rotten. I know many people are facing hard times right now, personally,financially,emotionally and physically etc. so I am not alone in my endevours. Well. really I never was alone:)

The reason it's called a Spectrum Disorder

The Autism Spectrum Disorder is thus called because it has a spectrum of symptoms. There is no one set way that it presents itself.Even the variables within the symptoms themselves can vary from child to child. The reason I am even bringing it up is because all to often I am told things like "Well my friend so and so has an autistic son and I have no problem with him." This is usually told to me when I am adamant about not coming to a family event or bringing Troy to a family event.

It is hard for me to explain without completely sounding like a jackass...pardon the French,but I'll try. Not every child with this disorder are the same. Aspergers is part of the Autism Spectrum, it is the highest functioning form of Autism. My oldest son Paul has Aspergers and Gabriel is suspected of having this as well. Then there is the PDD (Persuasive Developmental Disorder),Rhett Syndrome,CDD (Childhood Disintegrative Disorder) and finally Autistic disorder otherwise known as "classic Autism," or "severe autism."  Troy falls into the Autistic disorder category.

                                                  A typical Day with Troy

  Troy generally wakes with a smile but as soon as he is spoken to or touched (this includes greetings such as "good morning" and a hug) he screams. I put on cartoons while I make breakfast, generally he is quiet during this time with an occasionally scream of joy.However he has to move constantly. He jumps on the couch while waving his hands in his face as if he were watching tracers or something. When breakfast is done I place it on the table. I never say anything directly to him because he will scream so I have learned to just place the food on the table and let him find it.After breakfast it's time to get dressed because usually by this time he is  naked except for a diaper that he has had to wear overnight. Dressing has become easy with him it's the keeping the clothes on part that has become an issue. Once the clothes are on he usually motions to watch a movie or continues to watch some cartoons. Well he doesn't really "watch" them but he seems to like having the noise. Usually he likes to color,play with stickers or paint but of course he doesn't like to play with them properly. When I try to redirect him from painting on our walls he screams,hits himself on the head and stomach and when I say "hit" I mean he hits hard. Then he'll throw himself on the floor and scream. Usually with his meltdowns I have to place him in his room otherwise the meltdown will last really long. During a meltdown there is nothing you can do. You speak to them they scream louder,you discipline them they put a hole in the wall or inflict self injury by biting themselves or hitting themselves. Troy has at least 20 meltdowns a day the average is probably more like 40-50. The meltdowns can last anywhere from 5 minutes to half an hour.In Troys case the average is about 5 minutes but then there is only like 5-10 minutes in between each meltdown.

  During lunch it's the same routine as breakfast in that I place his food on the table and say nothing. On Tuesday through Thursday he has school (Early Intervention Program) so lunch is early and then I get him ready for the bus. While he waits for the bus by the window he usually stands and rocks constantly while twirling his hands in front of his face. He does say a few words now and one of them is "bus." So for about 15 minutes before the bus comes all I here is "bus" over and over again. I get him on the bus that has specialized built in child restraint seats. I buckle him in and tell him I love him and by. Sometimes he says "by" as well but more often than not he just smiles at me. He is gone from 12pm to 4 pm. During that time he goes through rigorous schooling including sensory and speech work as well as physical therapy for a slight delay in coordination. While he's gone I should be cleaning but I usually take Emma to my parents house and hang out just so I can get out of the house.

  When Troy get's home he's usually pretty excited and before he's even off the bus he's screaming out of excitement. On the walk back to the house (short walk) he likes to play "chase and tickle" he chases me and try's to tickle me,he thinks it's hilarious. Usually my other boys get home from school about half an hour before Troy. The dynamic between the boys is  hot and cold. So what usually happens when Troy steps foot in the house is a huge ruckus. Gabriel,my highest functioning son.does not get along with the other two boys. He struggles with understanding why they behave the way they do and usually takes their behavior as them being mean to him and picking on him. In reality though it's him that is generally mean to the other boy's though he doesn't really realize it...if that makes sense at all.

Dinner is the same routine as breakfast and Lunch.Place the food on the table without a peep. However Paul or Gabe usually yells at Troy while at the table because of one thing or another so dinner can be a very tiresome event.

Now in the event that I have to take Troy into public with me I try to make the trip as brief as possible. Troy cannot handle crowds larger than 10 very well. When entering a store or restaurant or even or church it overwhelms him. It flat out scares him. HE then begins to panic...screaming,hitting himself and myself(Laszlo if he is there)kicking,biting,scratching and of course the ever popular crying. Not to mention the general public acts as though I just have a spoiled brat that I'm dragging around. It's always a joy having a stranger tell you how you should raise your child in the 5 seconds they have known you.

BEDTIME.............screaming,crying,hitting,slamming the doors into the walls and making holes. Kicking the walls,throwing toys,throwing blankets and pillow in the hallway etc etc etc.

Disclaimer: These are just examples. In my case, though I have three on the spectrum I consider myself lucky as there are some parents out there who's children are far worse off then mine as far as symptoms go. Having to wear specialized helmets,belts,vest and in some cases wheel chairs. I am lucky that my boys can feed themselves and are all potty trained now. To whoever reads this I really encourage you to watch some videos of children with autism. I know that sounds like an odd request but it is really an eye opener. I will try to post one on here.

In the Magical Land of Backyard

                                                                 Introduction


 In a tiny little village called Albany tucked away between the not so magical Chinese restaurant and the evil (addictive) Home Depot lays a little cottage called "The Novak Residence." The Novak's are a jolly bunch often breaking  into song and dance for no reason at all. If you ever get caught watching a Novak sing though,they'll make nary a peep more and turn a rather festive shade of red. They are so busy singing and dancing that sometimes they don't even notice whats going on right under their rather large noses. Right behind the Novak's residence lay a magical land known as "Backyard." The people of backyard, "the Snipes," are elusive and impossible to see for the adult Novak however the little Novakians see "the Snipes" of backyard quite often and even play games with them.

There are different classifications of Snipes however,you see. The Snipes by the stacked firewood are mean and tend to be "biters." The Snipes on the back steps are friendly enough but a bit gruff, they are the diggers of the bunch.Finally the group of Snipes that is the friendliest live in the attic of the shop in the magical Land of Backyard. They are very similar to the Novak's themselves.A very jolly bunch themselves, often celebrating the simplest of things like finding a lost pencil for instance.

                                                             PART 1
 To be continued.............................