Another Friday.........

This last week I hit another wall again. I haven't been sleeping and  so once I got the kids off to school I spent a lot of time laying around or playing on the net. Today I am starting to come out of it a bit ,I think because I actually slept a few hours last night.

It seems like every Friday I get a bout of depression when I realize my husband is out hanging out with his friends and I am stuck at home...again. It doesn't really matter I guess though, considering I don't really have any babysitters anymore.Nor do I have any friends I'm super tight with anymore. Today it was a little extra tough considering I actually got some sleep last night and now I have some energy to spare. Bowling,skating,movies all sound fun and I would totally go but...I can't. Usually by Saturday I get over it,LOL, but today FB isn't helping nor is the fact that my hubby is out again on another Friday without me. PITY PARTY central around here,HUH!

AHEM,On to happier topics,like my children.

 Not much to report. Things have pretty much been the same with just a few changes.
Emma- is finally hitting her "terrible two's." She seems to be a bit more "snotty" if you will.More so than the boys anyways. The boys were just defiant with a little attitude.Emma will tell me how she feels,all her emotions on her sleeves,LOL! This last Monday she got her first tricycle and is quite happy to sit and watch Dora on it.She also has been asking to sit on her bike while she eats her dinner but that hasn't flown yet,LOL!

Troy- Has really been struggling with screaming, shrieking this week. He is talking a lot more but most of it is parroting,still just the fact that he is saying anything at all makes me happy. Since I have been on the net a lot this last week I have been able to do a lot of research concerning Troy and I have finally come to the conclusion that I think I know exactly what he has. Hopefully I am wrong but all his symptoms match,I mean ALL of them. I am scheduling him to see his physician this next week to get the medical diagnosis going. Today I got an appointment with the SS department to get him set up with disability.

Gabriel- Gabe has been really good. He struggles in school a bit, mainly with just learning,it's not so much behavioral from what they've told me. Unfortunately I missed another IEP meeting for him and am completely devastated with myself as I went o ALL of Paul's meetings. Hopefully I will figure out soon what his teachers and specialist are thinking and hopefully they will believe me when I say I am sorry,ugghh. Other than all that Gabe has been as lively as ever. Although he does seem to have a penchant for pitting his brothers and sister against one another,LOL.

Paul-Has been doing wonderfully. He has become such a laid back wonderful kid. He still has a few meltdowns here and there but he really is a cool kid. He's really gotten into learning"figurative speech" in the last couple of weeks.This is something that kids on the spectrum don't usually learn on their own and have to be taught. Paul has picked up on it rather quickly. He has a  favorite phrase right now " I'm on the fence about it."

Well, thanks for letting me rant and rave all!

The Dog Days are Over

I'm having a momentary lapse with self pity. Maybe I can chalk it up to hormones but in the last several days I've read well over a dozen Facebook statuses that have read something along the lines of "I had fun last night" or "I'm having a blast." I know I am suppose to feel happy for my family and friends and in general I do. However, in the last couple of days each post just feels like another pin prick or jab. I am stuck at home 99% of the time and feel awful lonely. I know part of it is my fault for not going out and asserting myself. On the other hand I am so tired of trying anything at this point that I guess I've kinda given up and now have hit that hard wall of "Self pity and poor justification." It's a vicious cycle,LOL! I need another outlet/job something to keep me busy and where I can meet new people. Hopefully I can wake up enough to go and find something.

The Battle for Middle Class

                                     The Fellowship of the Remote Control


The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of  Great Cartoons.


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   It began with the forging of the Great Cartoons many years ago. Three were given to the elderly; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven, to the Dwarf Lords otherwise known as little kids, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls and destroyers of bedrooms. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of teenagers, who above all else desire power. For within these cartoons was bound the strength and the will to govern over each age group. But they were all of them deceived, for a new cartoon was made. In the land of PBS, in the fires of Mount Netflix, the Dark Lord CEO forged in secret, a master cartoon,Thomas the Tank Engine to control all others. And into this cartoon Thomas, he poured all his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all parents. One cartoon to rule them all. One by one, the free peoples of Middle class fell to the power of the Thomas. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of men and elves marched against the armies of PBS, and on the very slopes of Mount Netflix, they fought for the freedom of Middle-class. Victory was near, but the power of the Thomas could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Brittany, Mother of the king Troy, took up her father's sword. And PBS, enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Class, was defeated. The Thomas passed to Brittany, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the Thomas of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Brittany, to her death or so it seemed. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half seconds, the Thomas passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, the Thomas ensnared another bearer. The Thomas came to the creature Emma, who took it deep into the tunnels under the blanket Mountains, and there it consumed her. The Thomas gave to Emma unnatural long staring episodes. For five hundred seconds it poisoned her mind; and in the gloom of Emma's blanket cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the halls of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Thomas of Power perceived. Its time had now come. It abandoned Emma momentarily. But then something happened that the Thomas did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A pre-teen, Paul Baggy pants, of the Novak's household. For the time will soon come when pre-teens will shape the fortunes of all... 


                                      


  


  

Sweet Relief

  I couldn't help but think of that "face" when I laid down last night. Luckily there was no fear there but merely questions. "What does it all mean," "who was she", and "how does this apply to me?" That didn't even last long,I mean the inquisitive side of me, because I was fast asleep by eleven. I did dream a bit last night but nothing I can remember. Phewwwwww!

   Back to reality, today was lovely. I spent my morning cleaning 9-12 and then by 12 I sent Troy,the youngest of the boys,off to school on his bus. After word's I got to catch up with a dear friend over Lunch at Applebees then I got a cup of joe at Dutch Bros. After lunch I hung with my friend at home for about an hour, until she had to go home. Now I am on the net checkin' my Facebook and writing my blog, all in peace! Boys get home in about 5-10 minutes then we'll see what happens to the peace after that. :)

After an Evening

  I couldn't sleep last night so I went out onto the couch and dug around in the word a bit. I read in Matthew for about 20 minutes. One verse struck a chord with me. Verse 3:10~

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

  This reminded me of a dream I had a few years ago where I was walking with Jesus through what looked like a game reserve when we suddenly came to a large grove of trees. I asked him what the trees meant and he said that the fruit on the trees are our children. He then went on to say that the trees are barren,in other words they have no fruit. He said they don't even have a bud nor a single piece of fruit on the ground. Like I said I had this dream awhile ago so I don't remember what all was said but I do remember that the grove was a warning.

  After making this correlation between the verse and my previous dream I felt extremely happy because I had always hoped to make some connections with it but I rarely had time to delve into the word and I opened right up to it last night.

  Well my story doesn't end there. I had a horrible nightmare last night the worst I've had in years. I really feel like it was an attack. I mean, I awoke from it feeling nearly paralyzed. Needless to say I woke from the nightmare at about 4:30 and I prayed until the boys had to get up at 7:30.

                                                        The Nightmare to End all Nightmares

    I was in a church that I didn't recognize but I could draw it for you down to the last detail. I was standing next to my husband,none of our children were there. The seating was like the pews or benches that we have at First. A few spaces beside me was a woman about age 40-45,average build,very blonde hair pulled back in a mess of curls. She wore a rather inappropriate skin tight thigh high pale pink dress that had sequins around the neckline. Beside her was a pre-teen boy who appeared to be her very embarrassed son. He had dark brown hair and was about half of his mothers height. She was in very high heels so I'd say she was a head taller than me (I'm 5'7" so she was about 6'). Next to her was an old family friend and his wife who I won't mention their names.

  We were in teh middle of worship and I noticed the woman next to me was very animated to the point that she was a distraction. She would grab people next her including her son and laugh, screech,hoot,holler and howl while grabbing and shaking. The family friend on the other side of her was politely trying to ask her to quit touching and grabbing those around her. In fact I would say she didn't appear to be worshiping at all. She started to get very wild and I felt like she could hurt someone with her antics,her own child looked frightened. Suddenly (and like I said this was a dream,LOL) the man next to her smacked her on the hip as if trying to spank her and gave her a stern look and then an awkward laugh.

  A man,I would assume the pastor came to the front of the church and announced that we had a guest speaker and asked them to come on forward. It was the crazy lady next to me. I immediately felt ill,something was off something was wrong,really wrong I just felt ill. The woman got up to the microphone and began talking but I couldn't hear anything she said because something started happening that was so out of this world. As she spoke I noticed her teeth began turning black. At first it was as if she just had gunk in between her teeth but then it got darker and darker until all her teeth were black. I turned to Laszlo and frantically said "Laz look at her mouth don't listen to her just look at what is happening to her mouth." Then her eyes began to turn black around the outer edges and around the pupils until it spread to the whole of her eyes. Then it was as if the blackness followed the veins throughout her face until nearly the whole of her face was black and appeared to be made of like a black marble. At that point she quit talking and stared at me.

  I woke up at this point but the face haunted me all night and the ill feeling. I prayed until I felt better and then I prayed some more. Now that I've had some time to calm myself and think a little more clearly I really feel this is an attack on me for taking the initiative to get back into the word,making the connection between the previous verse and an older dream and for signing up for my first Bible study in years.

  What am I going to do now you ask? Keep on reading.

The Bachelor called "Bear"

   I was reminded of a funny story yesterday about my father and several of his buddies and their endevours to save a reformed self proclaimed "bachelor named "Bear."

  For those of you who don't know my father was a wild man. He raced motorcycles (flat track and enduro) and was even ranked. He also raced multiple other things. This is how he met Bear a ZZ top front man look alike who had been radically saved and was crazy about Jesus. I suppose many things changed about Bear when he began a relationship with Jesus one of which was his aversion to settling down and starting a family. This is where the real fun begins.

  Bear had recently gotten engaged (finally!) and all was well until my father received a unusual call from Bear one day. Bear,who was also an avid motorcycle lover had rebuilt a motorcycle....in his living room and then realized it would not fit out his front door...*facepalm*....
He asked my father to come over and help him get their bike out so that his new bride would have room to move in. My dad and another friend,Todd Elkins, went over to Bears place to try and help him out. When they got there they realized there wasn't much else to do but laugh. I am sure Bear appreciated his friends reaction,LOL! After everything settled down then came time to actually figure out how to get this motorcycle out of the old bachelor pad. Did I mention this was not just a motorcycle but a giant chopper...*Even bigger facepalm*......

  Eventually Todd and my dad settled on removing a giant bay window in Bear's living room which actually worked out well except for the fact that Bear lived in a rental home.......I guess the owner was not to thrilled about the window, I'm guessing at this point he didn't realize Bear had rebuilt a chopper in his livingroom. All's well that ends well. Dad ,Todd and Bear were able to remove and replace the window without breaking it and the owner didn't charge anything.

  I believe there is more to this story but I'll have to get it out of my dad. He told it to me awhile ago and I wanted to document it before he went to downhill mentally and before I forgot . When I catch him on one of his good days I'll be sure to get the whole story out of him,LOL!

The Stray that Won't go Away

  What am I doing!!!!

I don't like cats yet here I am feeding a stray. Does this mean I do have a heart after all!??....*GASP*....
Poor thing is skin and bones and comes to my door yowling. It was 25 degrees when the cat first came over. I thought for sure I would have a cat-cicle by morning. However...I left out a box with blankets and it crashed there for the night. It was still there this morning greeting me with a loud yowl.

  While the kids where waiting for their bus's the cat kept pawing at them and rubbing against their legs. Me being a Germaphobe kept asking my boys to come inside and wash their hands( they pet the cat too). So it's very friendly but I refuse to get attached to it.................................I do...................I don't like cats..............................................Awwww shoot!